February 27, 2008
Venting for a second
Ok, so my grandpa got married this weekend. Here is the hard part for me to deal with. My grandma just passed away in October, it was pretty sudden and unexpected. They had been married for 50+ years and together for even longer. This was a huge shock to my grandpa who has been having a very hard time dealing with being alone. So we find out he is getting married (5 months later!!!!) and it's hard to even think about. For a second I stopped feeling selfish and thought to myself, "ok, he has had a companion for longer than he has been alone...he needs someone to help take care of him...he is lonely...this will be ok." Turns out it's not ok! Paula, his new wife, is a very sweet lady. She has been a widower for 25 years, so her family was extatic about the whole situation....our family on the other hand was not so happy. One of the guys on her side said, "Yeah, I heard this has been in the making for a long time." My comment before I walked away was, "couldn't have been that long." So that was the attitude of the entire wedding. And I know this is dumb, but they aren't our family...do we need to treat them like family, what do we do? Ugh...I'm just annoyed about the whole thing. And what about my grandma...so she isn't here anymore, but geez- she's not even cold yet! Tom keeps trying to explain that they both just need companionship for their remaining years and time is valuable, so why wait before they get married. But she is not my grandma and never will be and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. Thats my story!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Muff,
I love that you are putting this out there. I've been thinking a lot about how I would feel in this situation if my Grandma S were gone. I don't think I could do as well or be as strong. Grandma was so many things to so many people and I think it's a good thing to have dialogues (even with yourself...or the random internet viewer) about how her being gone affects you and the way you feel about it. I don't know what the right answer is or how to make you feel better, but I admire you so much...and I love you!
Julie
I've been trying to think of what to say to help you feel better about this too. I think I would have a really hard time and like Julie, I admire your courage. Your Grandpa must have been really miserable without your Grandma... so miserable that he had to replace her quickly to avoid the pain and loneliness. It is said that it is a tribute to how great a marriage was if people remarry quickly... you can take that or leave it... don't know if I totally agree, but can sometimes see the logic in that thought. I would have decked the kid on the spot probably, I wonder if he meant that because the lady was a widow for so long, that "this" (remarriage of somesort) had been in the works for so long. I hope that's what he meant, because otherwise... well, i'll jump on your bandwagon and rage with you :)
By the way, Judo got out and has been lost for 4 days now :(. I think he probably got eaten by a fox or something down here... so sad. It really is pathetic that I am mourning a cat. That answers your question :)
Hope that otherwise, everything is going well. Hopefully Salt Lake's weather has been nicer like ours... time for spring, eh?
Missy,
It's ok. It really is ok. Gramps is a wonderful man and Grandma A was a wonderful woman. Yes they lived happily and unhappily for 50+ years. Either was and is a-ok. Really it is.
Missy, I have clients that are the same age as gramps and they have done the exact same thing. It really is ok. In fact, your great grandpa Andersen did the exact same thing. I never knew your great grandma A. but I did meet his second wife. She was a nice lady and they lived happily until he died. It was all about companionship. At that age, it just alright. I talked to my buddy Rick, who lives in St. Geoge and is an advisor there and he says that he sees that very frequently. I think it's great for both Wayne and Paula. She has a very nice family who has open arms and will embrace this family. C'mon, you're a mexican! We like everbody!
Love,
Dad
Post a Comment