I just received an email from theknot.com and the title read, "YOUR WEDDING IS ONLY 6 MONTHS AWAY" on the top of the page.
I usually welcome their friendly reminders of what needs to be done next. "This month you need to: followed by a list of things that need to be done." Since our wedding isn't going to be the traditional big fancy event, I don't have to do all the things The Knot reminds me to do. When I saw this email today, I had to open my google calendar to count down the months. Yesterday was the 6 month mark!
Why the knot in my stomach? Well, we have the following things done.
* Photographer
* Venue
* DJ
And...that's it....I have so much work to do and ONLY 6 months to do it!
Last weekend my sister and sister-in-law came up from Idaho Falls to help with wedding planning. It was so fun to see them and I realized how much I miss them. As for wedding 'stuff' I now feel more stressed than ever. My awesome sister-in-law was asking all the tough questions. I have a good idea of what I want, but a not so good idea of how to get there.
Last night Tom and I went to Bob's Burger & Brew for dinner and a St. Paddy's Day drink and had the following conversation/argument.
Tom, "What's going on, I feel like your just out on everything."
Me, "Well I kind of am. I'm so stressed with all the wedding stuff."
Tom, "What are you stressed about?"
Me, "We haven't paid for anything. We have two $25 deposits down and that's it. So what happens on September 18th? We just pull $9,000 out of who knows where and pay the balances on everything?"
Tom, "I'll pay for the venue tomorrow, will that make you feel better?"
(At this point our tones were, well, not as pleasant as the beginning of the conversation.)
Me, "No, I'm stressed and we have so much to do and I can't do it by myself."
(Best part...are you ready...?)
Tom, "Well I don't know what you want me to do, it's like you want me to help plan everything!"
(I kid you not ladies, he said those exact words!)
Me, "I do want your help!" throwing my arms up in the air for emphasis.
Seriously, he wants me to do all the planning? Does anyone have any suggestions? Should I give him a list of 'To-Do's' that will be easy and also take all the responsibility off my plate? Or do I just plan everything and do whatever I want?
I suggested going to Hawaii or somewhere tropical for the wedding and whoever can afford to make it, makes it. He didn't like the idea at all. He said, "Neither of our parents would be able to do that." So my response was, "Who cares." As you can probably imagine, the rest of our night was not so great.
My plan tonight is to complete "Save The Dates" that I felt so inclined to make myself when I was feeling 'crafty', narrow down the guest list, make a seating chart while watching tv and then go to sleep! The ultimate goal is to keep the stress level down....so I'm kicking Tom out for the night. He is going to watch the Husky basketball game while I work...on our wedding...go figure.
7 comments:
That is stressful! I don't think that guys really have a clue how much work goes into planning a wedding! Did I ever send you my address? We are moving in May or June maybe later if our house does not sell. Were are you guys getting married?
You need a HUG!! Don't stress 6 months is still a long time and you have a good start. It is going to come together even though right now it feels like it never will, and if you miss a few things it is not the end of the world. Honestly if there is anything I can do to help I will I have plenty of time on my hands you just tell me what to do. And go give that man of yours a hug, guys really dont care as like as there women is happy. So plan it and if you are happy Tom will be happy.
Don't stress. (Easy for me to say...I remeber how stressful it is) but really in the big picture...your wedding day is all about you. You will forget about the stress and just enjoy! So excited for you~ Hang in there~
Oh Marissa...don't be mad. Tom is just a NORMAL guy. The truth is he probably doesn't give a crap about any of the planning...he just wants to show up that day, and marry you. Just keep it simple- you will never remember all the details that are stressing you out anyway. Delegate, and show up. That's the best way :)
Then go start making lots of babies :)
Since I don't work I am lucky enough to occasionally catch an episode of Dr. Oz.. Just this week he was talking about men.. he said that their brains are wired in such a way that it's actually painful for men to hear the sound of a woman's voice.. RUDE!!... so, the specialist guy on there said that you SHOULD in fact write things down for them because they are more "visual" and hearing your voice hurts his ears.. hummm.. makes you wonder why we get married at all huh? so make him a big fat list, he'll get all excited about making little check marks by each item he gets done and you'll both feel better about his involvement.. Missin' U!!
Call me anytime. I can help!!!! I have done this for income for the past 5 years :)
Take a breather, and do look at the big picture. People are not going to notice the little things.
Cheyenne
Honey! News Flash!!! Guys don't give a rip!!!!!! Make us list, try not to bug us with the little details, we're more global big picture types. We don't care about colors (they will be forgotten the minute you tell us about them)or all the "special" little details which really, we just generally agree with you to get you out of the way of the project, tv, music, or book that we are involved in.
Ha ha ha ha.... Give our poor Tom a break!
Counsel from Dad:
No Drama, Be Patient, Be Nice and Kind! He will respond to all of the above.
Ask him what the score is and not what he needs to plan... Sweetie, you just do the planning. He's really fine with it!
Love ya Kid
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