A more serious post...

Tom and I have the same conversation about 3 times a month. It is usually triggered from a phone call or text message from family members, on both sides of our family. It basically goes like this...I wish they knew there is something better out there...It's not acceptable for someone in a relationship...people don't do that if they love someone...We both know exactly how hard it is to leave someone you think you love...We both know the reward of being strong, leaving, and finding the right person....etc.

The biggest excuse we hear is, "You don't understand." Well guess what? Both of us understand a lot more than others. We both had broken engagements, long relationships where we weren't treated right, and heartbreak. It's so easy for me to look back and say, "Wow, that wasn't a healthy relationship, I'm so glad I got out of it." I also know how impossible it is to see while in it. I've made the excuses for someone to convince myself and others that everything was ok.

What I'm trying to say is that there is a handful of lovely young ladies in my life that I love and I want them to know There is someone better for you out there!

Everyone has their own different recipe for loving someone, but here are a few that are my favorites and also let me know that Tom loves me....

* He rubs my feet after I spend 8 hours standing on 3" heels. Most the time they stink too! I know my feet are disgusting, but Tom thinks they are the cutest feet he has ever seen and he says it almost every day.

* He will ask me to play piano for him because he loves it. I used to be a lot better than I am now, but he still thinks it's great even when I mess up every 3rd note.

* He eats chicken almost every night because he knows I don't like any other meat.

* He tells me ALL the time how beautiful he thinks I am. He has perfect timing too. Most the time, it's when I'm not even ready for the day. Now that's something that is important. If they still think you are drop dead gorgeous when your breather smells like last nights garlic dinner, your hair is on top of your head with frizzy strands sticking out wherever they want, your wearing a t-shirt 3 times too big and sweats that don't fit anymore, that's love.

* He makes me breakfast every weekend. You guys know Tom, he hates getting up in the morning, but he usually wanders out of bed around 7:30 and I wake up to dishes rattling in the kitchen. Most the time he makes me stay in bed so I can sleep more.

* He talks about our family all the time.

* He likes to do things together all the time. Weekends are our time together, whether we spend it alone or with his buddies. A lot of the time I end up being the only girl, but Tom wouldn't have it any other way.

* Every day when he walks in the door from work he hugs me. It is the first thing he does when he gets home.

* He shares the responsibilities of making dinner and cleaning the house.

* He paints my toe nails.

* He watches The Office every week with me even though most time he can't handle it.

* He sneaks in the house when I am singing, and will sit around the corner listening to me for who knows how long and then he will simply walk around the corner and hug me. (He has to sneak in because I won't sing for real if he is in the room...he hates that...)

* He jokes with me.

* He will play Rock Band with me even when he is exhausted and his fingers hurt from the guitar.

* He listens to Led Zeppelin with me. (He didn't like them, but knows they are in my top 5 of all time favorite bands.)

* He holds my hand all the time.

* He tells me how he feels constantly.

* He is proud of who I am and always tells me he thinks it's amazing what I do.

* He is affectionate in so many ways and doesn't change around any type of company. He always show me that he loves me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are a million little things every day that happen that I don't have any doubt in mind about our relationship. Trust is a huge part of any relationship. If you can't trust someone, you shouldn't be with them. Trust is an instinct and always go with your instincts because they are right. Too often we rationalize situations that shouldn't be rationalized.

What's hard for the rest of us is to watch each of you go through it time and time again.

I hope you can each find someone that makes you feel important every single day. The best thing is to have a man who is totally into your relationship and it makes him happy to do things that make you happy. Someone who loves you no matter what. Someone who will randomly take you into his arms and tell you how much he loves you. Someone who can tell you reasons you are the one for them, not just those three little words. Someone who shares the same interests as you. Someone who openly wants to spend the rest of their life with you. And most of all someone who treats you with the respect and courtesy that you deserve as a child of God and the beautiful women they you all are.

My grandpa opened the door for my grandma EVERY single day for over 50 years. After she passed away he said he still walks around to the passenger side of the car and realizes he doesn't need to open it. That's love.